Searching For Emotional Adultery

One of the things about this blog that has surprised me is how people get here. Some click on a link from another blog…thanks to all of you who link here. Some end up here through Twitter or facebook. And some end up here because they are looking for something via a search engine. The number one search term that leads people here is “casey ross browns bridge.” Hopefully none of you are stalking me. I’ll go ahead and warn you…I’m boring. The number two search term that leads people here is “emotional adultery.” Surprised?

I’m surprised! I posted a few months ago about emotional adultery then followed it up with another post on some ways I try to safeguard myself against it. That’s it. Two posts. But almost daily someone lands on this blog after searching this term.

Emotional adultery is frightening because it starts so subtly. What starts off as a harmless, casual conversation or look or question or text can lead to a slippery slope. Before you realize it, you’re spending more time with the person, thinking more about the person, pulling away from other relationships.

Want a quick way to see how you’re doing? Pay attention to your attention. Who are you paying attention to? Who is receiving your obvious attention and your subconscious attention? Although it seems that our heart and emotions are the first thing to attach to the other person, I think it starts with our mind. After our mind and attention are engaged with this person, our heart follows. Then our emotions get involved and the slope becomes too much for us. And soon after that our actions begin to follow our emotions. And lives and relationships will never be the same.

Every one of us is capable of slipping down the slope into emotional adultery. Don’t think you’re not capable. I’ve avoided the slope, but I know I always have to guard against it. I have to be intentional about a lot of things. But my marriage and my relationships with my daughter and son are worth all the effort.