I work on Sundays…Sunday is my Monday. I took last Sunday off. I didn’t work. I spent the day with my family. But I did go to Browns Bridge. We drove there as a family. Julie and I, together, dropped our son off in Waumba Land and our daughter off in UpStreet. We walked into the auditorium and sat together, worshiped together, and listened to the sermon together. We went to KidStuf Live as a family and drove away together. We even went by Target and had lunch with some friends afterward. It was good to act like a normal person for one Sunday.

I learned a few things from my day off…

Browns Bridge Community Church is an amazing church. From start to finish and in every environment, it was a great experience. I left genuinely excited that Browns Bridge is our church.

There are some things we need to work on. Browns Bridge is not perfect and never will be. It was so valuable coming to church as a guest. I got to see what we do with a different set of eyes.

I’m extremely thankful to work at a church that I’d actually want to come to on my day off from working there.

Any time you can look at something in a fresh way, it brings a new perspective. Find ways for you and your team to see things in a fresh way.

Julie and I love Shark Tank. Have you seen it? Five successful multi-millionaires (aka the sharks) listen to entrepreneurs pitch their business ideas in hopes that one or more of the sharks will invest in their product.

People don’t always take the shark’s offer. There are a number of reasons why, but there’s one reason that makes me yell at the TV every time. There’s one thing that distracts the entrepreneur from seeing clearly. The shark can give them the money they need. The shark can give them priceless wisdom. The shark can broaden their customer base. The shark can increase their sales. But they turn it all down because they’re distracted by emotions.

They are too emotionally attached to their product. Their emotions blind them to an opportunity that will clearly give them and their product a better future. Instead of walking away with a deal that would benefit them and their product, they walk away feeling like they won. Their product is still their product. They still control it. And it will remain “their” baby.

I wonder what I’m too emotionally attached to in my work world. What system, program, decision, environment am I too emotionally attached to? What opportunities for improvement and new ideas am I missing because my emotions have distracted me from reality?

My daughter decided on Sunday afternoon (with the encouragement of KidStuf’s very own Mr. Take-Out) that she wanted to collect clothes for people who were hurt by the recent ATL floods. Awesome! Definitely one of those proud parent moments. She spent Sunday night and Monday designing the flyer to try to get others to donate clothes. On Wednesday she started (not finished) putting the flyer on every mailbox in our neighborhood. My wife also emailed our neighborhood to let them know what she is doing…and so they wouldn’t get mad about the flyers. By that afternoon she had already collected five bags of clothes. Then this morning happened.

At breakfast this morning, Julie shared the great news that one of our neighbors had emailed overnight to say they would be donating some clothes. It was a neighbor my daughter knew. Julie and I were excited! Our daughter was very upset. Why? Because she knew she had not put a flyer on their mailbox yet. She did not want them giving clothes unless she had given them a flyer.

In just a few days, she had lost focus of why she was doing what she is doing. She’s collecting clothes for people who may have lost everything they own. A beautiful vision. But she quickly got distracted. Now, she’s seven years old, so I cut her some slack. But you and I do the same thing all the time. Insider churched people are skilled at this.

How many churches, ministries, projects, etc. have you seen started for all the right reasons? But at some point the people most involved in this “thing” begin to get more focused on how it’s getting done. Or they start caring more about distractions and stop paying attention to what they are trying to accomplish. And the more they focus on the how or the distractions and the less they focus on the why or the goal, the less effective the “thing” becomes. And eventually it stops being effective all together. It’s finished. All because they lost focus and started caring about the wrong things.

Stop caring whether or not the people got the flyer first. Celebrate that they are giving clothes to people who have lost everything.

(By the way, if you’d like to donate money, clothing, etc. to ATL flood victims, go to hopeATL.com.)

I had a birthday recently. We went to our favorite Chick Fil A for dinner. Exit 13, of course. It just so happened that my birthday fell on the day that severe rain hit the ATL. This meant our normally crowded CFA was strangely empty. So empty that we could hear Gene coaching his staff behind the counter.

I’ve come to appreciate Gene. He’s the manager and knows how to walk that line of connecting with his customers without annoying them. His restaurant is consistently great when it comes to the physical environment, the staff, and the food.

As we were eating, we overheard Gene coaching two of his staff members. One was an Assistant Manager we’ve seen before and the other was an employee we’d never seen before. Yes, we go there a lot. Gene was coaching them on two things.

First, stay with your customer. From the moment you engage your customer, stay with them until they have been fully served. Don’t drop them. Don’t pass them off. Own them. Take responsibility for them.

Second, look for your next customer. Find the person who needs to be served. Even if the person is not in “your area”, go serve them. Don’t let people wait long to be served.

Thanks, Gene! At church, at home, no matter where we are, am I fully serving those around me and looking for the next person to serve?

Your…

parking lot.
music style.
carpet.
web site.
preaching.
lighting.
wording.
greeters.
bulletin.
wall colors.
chairs.
volume.
traffic flow.
kids’ space.
schedule.
location.
[add whatever you can think of here.]

Nothing is neutral in church. Everything causes everyone to feel something. Here’s the challenge: Does it cause the people you care the most about (i.e. unchurched people, churched people, families) to feel what you want them to feel (i.e. safe, worshipful, reflective, accepted)? Everything can be leveraged to create the kind of environment you want to create. This isn’t manipulation. It’s strategy and intentionality and knowing why your church exists.

Is it possible you don’t feel something about everything? Yes. It just means you’ve grown numb to those things. There was a time they made you feel something. And it was probably a positive feeling, otherwise you would have done something about it. Time has made you numb, though.

How are you making people feel this Sunday?

God wants to use your past hurts and pains and losses.

This morning, I got to sit down with a leader who recently went through a painful time. He’s still going through it in some ways. The reason I got to sit across from him was a similar past hurt I experienced. If I had not gone through that hurt, I never would have had the opportunity to sit down with him and swap stories and try to encourage him.

Years ago, my wife and I were told we would not have kids unless we got help from doctors. Because of that long season of our lives, we have had the privilege of building some cool friendships with people walking through infertility.

My wife had a miscarriage when our daughter was a year or two old. When our friends go through this tragedy, we’re able to understand and maybe even help.

I had the “opportunity” to close a church. I never dreamed God would use that experience to help other church leaders who have to maneuver through that minefield. He has.

I’ve been lied to, had people say bad things about me, been treated unfairly, etc. You have to. You have your own list of hurts and pains and losses. It’s important you walk through those times and come out on the other side healthy. It’s a scary request to make, but ask God…

Father, please use this hurt in a way that brings you glory.

Go ahead. Give this a shot. On your next wedding anniversary, just acknowledge it. Maybe a “Hey, it’s our anniversary.” as you’re leaving for work. And leave it at that. Don’t say or do anything else. Sure, you’re better than the person who forgot their anniversary. But you’ll find out that how you acknowledge something matters a whole lot more than just acknowledging something.

Just acknowledging something significant actually makes it feel less significant. Here’s an example. Baptism.

When I was baptized in the 5th grade, it was just acknowledged. It was during a typical Sunday morning worship service designed for adults. It was me and a man in his 80s. The preacher said the same words for both of us. I was baptized and then walked up the steps in silence. The preacher prayed and the service went on like every other Sunday service. Such a significant event in my life, and it was just acknowledged. Sure, the way my church did it was fine. But they missed an opportunity. They didn’t think about how they acknowledged baptism.

I got to baptize my daughter this past Sunday. She and 20-something other elementary-aged kids were baptized at what we call Family Birthday Celebration. It is arguably one of the best things we do as an church. In addition to the band, worship, lights, communicator, cake, balloons, and gift, each child tells their faith story via a pre-recorded video before they are baptized. Our UpStreet staff understands that how they acknowledge baptism is a big deal. They do it in a way that creates long-lasting memories. This is the day my daughter (and a bunch of other kids) publicly shared her faith story for the first time. It should be something she never forgets. And I am so grateful to be a part of a church that thinks carefully and creatively about how they acknowledge baptism.

How you acknowledge something says a lot about how much value you place on it. It does. Look at how you acknowledge your child’s birthday. Look at how you acknowledge Christmas. The church should be the master of knowing how to acknowledge significant events in a person’s life.

This is on my desk:

These words constantly challenge me to evaluate everything we do. And they force me to ask the question, “How are we (Browns Bridge Community Church and Ministry Services) making it difficult for people who are turning to God?”

You can’t just ask this once a year or once a month. You must ask it constantly. You have to make it a default thought. Our (as individuals and churches) natural tendency is to think and act like insiders…people who have already turned to God. We must fight to not become insider focused. Why? When we become insider focused, we stop thinking about people who are turning to God…outsiders…and start thinking about people who are like us…insiders.

Spiritually speaking, I’m successful. You know what I mean. I’ve turned to God. I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father. I want to set others up to be spiritually successful. We don’t want to make it difficult for people who are turning to God. That doesn’t mean watering anything down, but it does mean removing any obstacles we have put up.

So, in my world, what do we need to be constantly evaluating? When we ask, “How are we making it difficult for people who are turning to God?”, what are we thinking about?

1. Systems. How we move people through our church. The hoops we make people jump through. How people get from Point A to Point B. Your systems can make it just as difficult for someone turning to God as a poorly led worship environment.

2. People. The right people in the right places makes all the difference in the world. It may be difficult to admit it, but having someone in the wrong role could make it difficult for people turning to God. This applies to staff and volunteers.

3. Setting. Signage. Building layout. Traffic flow. Parking. You’d better believe these things can make it difficult for someone turning to God. These things can be major distractions and force people to think about things other than God.

I know we don’t cause life-change. God does that. And I know the greatest difficulty for people turning to God is our enemy: 2 Corinthians 4:4 says, “The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” But we certainly can partner with God to do our part in creating systems and environments that don’t get in the way of people turning to God.

Want to have some fun? Gather ten leaders from your church in a room and ask them…

What is the primary thing we do best and should put our first energy/resources into?

Don’t give them any warning the question is coming. Don’t spend much time setting up the question. Just ask it. Find out what they really think.

If you don’t hear the same answer (of course each person may word it a little differently) from each person, you may have a problem.

Ask leaders at different levels. If the answers begin to differ the more you go down the leadership ladder of your church, you may have a problem.

If you can never get any group of people to agree on one answer, you may have a problem.

Let’s say you get some consensus on an answer. If the answer does not line up perfectly with your vision (why you exist), you may have a problem.

When you know the right answer to the question, if you don’t hear your leaders talking about it often in front of paid and volunteer leaders, you may have a problem.

When you know the right answer to the question, if your top leader is not talking about it in front of the large group on Sunday, you may have a problem.

Okay, let’s be honest. If any one of these are true, you have a problem.

How do you define success? You’ve probably never sat down and thought about it. But you think you know success when you see it. No one ever challenged me to think about this until the Spring of 2008. Sitting in a Starbucks in Greenville, SC, a friend challenged my definition of success. For years, I had been operating under a definition of success I was not even aware of. Whether or not you are aware of it, I bet you define success subconsciously like I did…

If something is still open, still operating, still going, then it is successful. Existence equals success. The longer someone is in a job, a church is able to do church, an organization can keep their sign on the door, the more successful it is. Longevity equals success.

We’ve got it all wrong. Existence and longevity do not equal success. Just because you open your doors and people come in does not mean you are successful. Just because you get a paycheck does not mean you are successful. What if we redefined success and left the element of time out of it?

If we couldn’t use any element of time in our definition of success, what would we have to use to define it?

• Effectiveness.
• Focus.
• Purpose.
• Staying on course.
• Still doing what we started out to do.
• Thinking more about “why” than “what”.

Who wouldn’t want to be a part of something accomplishing the things in that list? And if that something only lasted a year or five years or ten years, wouldn’t it be worth it? Wouldn’t it be successful? Yes!